The EYES have it

As of this month, my left eyelid has been spasming for six months. I have had eye exams, used eye drops, had Botox injected all around the socket. Until I can't close my eye all the way. Until I can't feel the eyelid. I would do almost anything. I would go so far as to have someone place hands over my eye, the way my mother once placed her hands over a tree stump in the backyard to pray it away. She said it worked.

Addendum 1: In which I realized you will never come with me. In which I realized that someday, my eye will fall out (possibly into my open palm) and at that point I will realize I should have cared more about animals, about carbon footprints, about marriage licenses.

Addendum 2: In which I realize, "It will only get worse before it gets better" is probably complete and total bullshit.

Addendum 3: In which I realize, "How is a raven like a writing desk" has no answer.

Addendum 4: In which I reiterate to myself that you will never come with me. In which I pore over my dissertation with a magnifying glass, searching for clues like one would comb the beach for seaglass, which is not a natural occurrence, but is in fact trash that has been washed clean.