Friday, November 23, 2012

The Transcript (partial)

E= The Examiner

I: "Those first few years after he was gone, I felt like a torn piece of paper."
E: "I'm not sure what that means."
I: "It's like I said, a piece of paper that's been ripped."
E: Silence.
I: "If I said that and I was five or six years old, you'd think it was a brilliant, very telling thing to say."
E: "Is anything written on this paper?"
I: "The torn piece of paper?"
E: Silence.
I: "I'm not sure that that has any relevance. Whether there are words on this paper or not. It's how I feel, it's how I felt about those years. I don't see it literally."
E: "Then why do you think you said it?"
I: Sighs.
E: "You're exasperated."
I: "What do you want, a goddamn poem?"
E: "That has been torn in half?"
I: "No, I mean, you want me to say something that's so perfect for this moment, perfect for some illustrative example you'll write up brilliantly and your readers will hurt over it. The words are so perfect that they'll hurt when reading them. They'll want to be you. They'll want to be me."
E: "That's not--"
I: "And all I feel like saying is I just felt like a torn piece of paper."
E: "Is the tear irregular?"
"Client stated she felt like 'a torn piece of paper.' This is my representation of the simile."
I: "What do you think?"

Friday, November 2, 2012


"Karl Marx's School of Barista Training"

Clearly, I have not been very creative lately. I spent all summer studying for my comp exams, then took my exams (August), then shot two weddings (September/October) then defended my exams (October), then presented at a conference (October) while simultaneously teaching four classes and NOT knitting, NOT writing, NOT reading, and NOT blogging. I am, in one word, exhausted.

I don't know why, but as I was getting out of my car this morning on campus I thought a title of a book should be "Karl Marx's School of.." something.  Something catchy and Most Un-Socialist.

"Karl Marx's School of Hair and Beauty"

"Karl Marx's School of Cake Decorating"

"Karl Marx's School of Divinity"

"Karl Marx's School of Palm Reading"

"Karl Marx's School of Weight Loss Training"